Something You Should Know
by crimsonmaz
Summary: RayNeela story. Set after the kiss. There's something he should have told her. There's always bound to be a bit of angst and drama. Oneshot.


**_Author's Note:_** _I've been out of the loop with the Neela/Ray story, and basically the general ER storyline for a while. They haven't even aired the the show here in forever, at least not to my knowledge :( __But despite all that I've remained a hardcore 'shipper for these two, whether it be conciously or unconciously :) I wrote this as some sort of...I don't know, release to all the Roomie action I've discovered has happened. I seem to have missed out on a lot of the good stuff, so here's the reaction to that. I doubt it's very good since it was only written in an hour, after midnight and without paying much attention to actually what I was writing most of the time. Hope you guys like it anyway. My contribution as a Roomie fan._

_**Something You Should Know**_

"Have you thought about it?"

It was the only thing she had been thinking about, but she couldn't let him know that.

"Well, it's just been so...busy around here, you know?"

She could see the hurt, and frustrated, little frown that marred his forehead.

"Yeah, I guess."

She watched his retreating back as he moved away from her to deal with a patient. She hadn't been avoiding him - things in the ER were just hectic. But weren't they always? Maybe she was purposely trying to not be in the same room as him, or delaying her exit from rooms until he had walked past...yes, so she was avoiding him. She couldn't help it. The problem he presented was something she didn't think she could handle right now.

"Earth to Neela."

A palm waving in front of her eyes distracted her from her chain of thought. It was Abby.

"Oh, Abby, hi, I didn't see you there."

"Or hear me either, obviously." Her friend laughed. "Still figuring things out, I assume?"

"What-what things?"

"Oh, please, you can't hide stuff like this from me. Besides which, it's so damn obvious even a two-year-old could spot it!"

With a look of fear in her eyes Neela took Abby by the arm and whispered "Keep it down, there's too many little ears sprouting from thin air around here!"

"Not until you admit to it."

"Admit to what?"

"Neela."

"Okay, okay. Something happened."

"With Ray?"

"Yes. Although I don't-"

"We've known each other too long for me not to notice. Plus, all those mysterious glances from you and brooding expressions from R-"

"Oh, hi Ray! Back so soon?" Abby felt the sharp end of an elbow in her side as Neela turned to greet the approaching Ray.

"Um," He glanced at Abby as if she was a nuisance "Yeah. Actually I wanted to talk to you."

He eyed Abby meaningfully as she looked on in amusement. "Alone."

"Oh, I guess that's my cue to...find another patient to fix!" She walked down the hall until Ray's back was turned to her and signaled to the watching Neela that their talk was not over.

Neela stood nervously under Ray's solemn gaze.

"Look Ray-"

"Not here. In there." He inclined his head towards the coffee lounge.

"But..the patients-"

"It's covered...for now. So, no time to waste. Come on."

She knew there was no chance of resistance or argument as he gently, but firmly, took her by the arm and guided her to the room.

He seemed to scan for other staff before he ushered her in first and then entered himself, closing the door firmly behind him.

He motioned her to a corner of the room least visible through the glass panels on the wall. She followed.

She looked him in the eye as she turned to face him. "What is this, Ray?"

"I think you know what it is."

"I just need more time-"

She jumped a little when he guffawed loudly in disgust.

"Time? God, Neela. That's all I've been giving you. And I'm sick of waiting!"

"Look, this just isn't the best time for this-"

He cut in again. "So when is it ever going to be the right time? Tomorrow? A month from now? A year? Maybe ten years?"

"Now you're being ridiculous."

"No, not me, you. I've waited Neela, God knows how long. When it was Michael I let you go because I knew that I didn't have a chance. Then he was gone, and you told me to leave you alone so I did. I wanted so badly to hold you in my arms and be there for you but you wouldn't let me. That hurt."

"Ray-"

"No! Let me finish. Then there was Gates. I thought, God, why couldn't you see that here I was, someone who cares about you, willing to be a friend despite everything and giving you your space. But no, there you were making out with some guy you'd known for five minutes when you knew how I felt! That also hurt."

"Can I-"

"Not yet, there's one more thing. Here I am again, waiting on you, hoping for something that seems like it's never coming. Tell me, Neela, what's it going to be? I need to know. I need to know if I'm just wasting my time."

"I don't know."

"You don't know? It's really simple Neela. You either want me or you don't."

"I care for you Ray, and I know you care for me-"

"Care? Is that all you think I feel? Do you think I 've waited this long because I care?"

"Well, yes, what else would I think?"

Ray lowered his eyes to look at the ground, silent. Neela could see that he was contemplating something - his hands were clenching and unclenching.

He looked up at her suddenly and she saw the storm in his eyes, but she held his gaze with defiance.

"Neela." He said her name with barely contained emotion.

"Yes?"

He walked forward and closed the space between them. His arms wrapped around the slenderness of her waist and she instinctively placed her hands on his shoulders.

His action made her speechless. The intensity of his gaze forced her to break eye contact and look down.

A hand lifted her by the chin until their eyes met again, his face now only inches away from hers.

"I don't care about you." He whispered.

Then he leaned forward and his lips were on hers, gentle but firm, seeking, demanding. His tongue slipped past her unresisting lips, toying with her own. Her body was betraying her as she felt the heat of her repressed desire for him rise. She knew she had been waiting for more of this since the moment their last kiss ended. Of their own accord her hands had moved up to tangle in his hair, drawing him in closer, deepening the kiss. If he didn't think she wanted him before, he sure as hell knew she did now. At least on a physical level.

As things became more intense she felt him drawing away, his lips leaving hers, though his grip around her waist remained. Her eyes, big shiny pools of brown, looked into his with confusion. She saw his desire, she knew he wanted her as much as she wanted him. So why did he stop?

"Neela." The way he whispered her name sounded like a prayer. He brought a hand up to cup her cheek, his thumb smoothing over her swollen lips.

She didn't know what to say or do. The feelings he had evoked by kissing her had robbed her of all coherent thought.

He took her silence as some sort of negative reaction because the next thing she knew his arms had dropped back to his side and he was walking towards the door.

"Ray."

He turned towards her, his hand on the door handle. There was a forlorn expression on his face.

"I don't care about you Neela."

She looked down, not wanting him to see the tears welling up in her eyes at his words. But she couldn't blame him. All she could do was keep her gaze firmly on the floor and nod her understanding.

"I love you."

As she looked up, the tears streaming down her face, she saw that he had gone.


End file.
